The First Time
by Carlee Adison
Summary: CONTINUED EXCLUSIVELY ON ARCHIVEOFOUROWN. [A prequel to The Murder Suspect but also works as a stand-alone fic] Before Bianca's death, before he fell for Jason, fourteen year old Nico di Angelo met Luke Castellan. As a young teenager barely able to come to terms with his own sexuality, Nico has to decide what he really wants from life, and Luke just may be able to help him.


_A/N: SURPRISE! Here is the Luke and Nico prequel you never thought to ask for but got anyway! To be honest, I hadn't originally planned on making this, but I am glad that I did. I think learning about Nico's past is going to really enhance the story. And pay attention, because some of the things included here may come up later. Also, this was originally meant to be a one-shot but I had too many damn ideas so now it's a two-shot. The second half will probably not go up until after the next chapter of Murder Suspect. Okay, I'll let you read now. Oh, and happy birthday to my good friend Diane aka hetalianninja aka HimekoUchia aka artemis-red, you inspired this whole idea. _

* * *

Nico just knew that his day was going to end poorly. Most of his peers had been dying to finish eighth grade, but Nico? Nico would rather bang his head against a wall repeatedly.

First of all, today was the last day of school. Other fourteen year old prepared excitedly for three uninterrupted months of freedom, but Nico felt as if was being moved from a detention center into a prison. School may have sucked, but it was still better than Nico's alternative. Summer meant more hours at home and more opportunities for Nico to do something to upset his father. Set the table wrong? Time for the belt. Forgot to restock the toilet paper in the bathrooms? The belt. Slept in too late? The belt. Showing any weakness at all? Belt. If he was lucky.

Not quite as awful, but certainly more pressing of an issue, however, was the matter of "senior buddies." Now, Nico did not know _who _had come up with the concept of pairing up every rising freshman with a rising senior from their neighborhood high school and forcing them to become friends over the summer, but Nico had a few choice things to say to that person. No sane high school senior would ever choose to associate with a freshman, and if they did they certainly wouldn't stoop as low as Nico. Whoever ended up stuck with Nico would probably try to resign immediately. After all, they hadn't signed up to entertain a nearly friendless loser.

Nico sighed and slumped lower in his chair while the principal gave this bogus speech over the intercom about how proud she was of all her little ducklings. Yes, she really did refer to the students as ducklings, Nico could not make this crap up if he tried. At least one good thing would come out of finishing middle school—he would never have to deal with Mrs. Gottschalk again.

"And I look forward to seeing all of my eighth graders at tonight's graduation mixer! Your teacher should be passing around papers with the name of your senior buddy as we speak. I'm sure they all can't _wait _to meet you," Gottschalk cooed.

Yeah, Nico highly doubted _that. _Alabaster, Nico's only friend who didn't share his blood, rolled his eyes and gave Nico a look that said "what a load of crap."

During all of this, Nico's teacher had begun going around the room, handing each student a slip of white paper. Alabaster yawned and checked his phone. Nico tried to swallow the huge lump forming in his throat. He could see it now. His high school mentor, some cool, self-assured seventeen year old, staring at Nico with barely hidden contempt, promising that they would become great friends over the summer and never following through... It was miracle enough that three people liked Nico—even if two of them were related to him—and the possibility that some soon-to-be-senior would become person number four was laughable.

The teacher handed out slips to Alabaster and then Nico, who considered just burning it. He could always pretend his family moved to India.

Heaving a deep sigh, Nico unfolded the paper and found the name _Luke Castellan _written in his teacher's slanted, thin writing. Luke, a boy. _Great, _Nico thought miserably. With his luck, this Luke guy would be hot. Hot and completely indifferent to Nico's existence. Nico wasn't quite sure how he felt about boys, or maybe he was, but he didn't like to think about it. He couldn't deny that they were beautiful, though. Alabaster and other guys his age were following after girls with their eyes, admiring their long hair and graceful curves and glossed lips. Nico had never cared much about how girls looked. Some of them were really pretty, sure, but that had never phased Nico. He preferred strong arms and broad shoulders and deep voices and just… boys.

That terrified him. As if he hadn't given his father enough reasons to resent him over the years. He couldn't be—there was no way he was—

Even thinking the word was impossible.

"So? What's your mentor's name?" Alabaster prodded, leaning over.

"Luke Castellan, I've never heard of him. Yours?"

"Kelli Empousa. Kelli is a hot girl name, don't you think? And did you really expect to have a mentor that you _had _heard of? You don't talk to anyone."

Nico probably would have been more offended if it weren't mostly true. The only high schoolers Nico had ever talked to were his sister and her friends, and even they mostly shrugged him off. Only Bianca _really _talked to him, and Nico didn't think she counted, considering they were siblings.

"I doubt he'll like me," Nico said, ripping the paper slip in half, right down the middle of the S in Castellan.

"You're so negative all the time. You know, if you stopped immediately counting yourself out you'd probably make more friends."

Nico ignored him. Alabaster loved to tell Nico how to live his life, but he didn't understand what being Nico was actually like. "Seventeen year olds don't want to talk to fourteen year olds."

Alabaster shrugged. "Yeah, that's maybe true. But if you're lucky, they'll try to make you their little prodigy or something. Maybe this Luke guy will take you under his wing."

"And what about Kelli?"

"Maybe she'll think I'm cute and kissable," Alabaster smirked.

Nico wasn't amused, however. He didn't want to be some high school guy's pet project, nor did he intend to spend any more time with this Luke guy than necessary, even if he was—no e_specially_ if he was—hot.

…

When Nico got home from school he found Bianca and his mother sitting together on the couch, each with a book in hand.

"Buone vacanze, Amore," his mother chimed, pushing back a strand of dark curly hair and smiling at her son.

"Grazie, mamma," Nico replied, humoring his mother's preference for Italian. Even after over twenty years in the United States, Maria di Angelo still liked to act like she was fresh off the boat.

"Did you have a good day at school?" Bianca asked, setting her book down beside her. While very gifted in writing and reading, Bianca did not excel in speaking their mother's native tongue.

"Not like we did anything, I was exempt from my tests," he dropped his backpack on the floor, falling into the nearest chair. The walk home had been miserably hot, and sweat still stuck his shirt to his chest. He'd have to shower before the stupid mentor mixer. Nico may have been a loser, but he didn't want Luke to think he was a loser who smelled bad.

"Did you get the name of your buddy person?" His mother asked, leaning forward with interest. Bianca mirrored her movement.

"Yeah, his name is Luke Castellan. You know him, Bi?"

"Not personally, but I've seen him around. He's this tall soccer player. Seems nice enough."

_Oh great_, thought Nico, _an athlete_. Jock types never looked twice at Nico. Apparently even taking the time to bully Nico was too much for them, so anyone who played any kind of sport simply acted like Nico didn't exist at all. Fine by Nico, it wasn't like he wanted to be their friend anyway.

"Il mio Nico, so big and grown," his mother said, her wavering voice suggesting that tears were not far away.

Nico nearly laughed. He barely passed for five and a half feet tall and calling him scrawny would be a compliment. Big and grown? Last month Nico had been mistaken for a freaking twelve year old, for crying out loud.

"Whatever you say, Mom," he shrugged. "I'm going to go to my room, okay?"

"Sure, just make sure it's clean in there. You know how your father gets when you haven't cleaned your room."

"Yes ma'am."

Nico did not need to be reminded. The scars on his back did the remembering for him.

…

Ironic. That's what these annual eighth grade "mentor mixers" were. Ironic. A mere four hours into summer and all of the eighth graders had to go _back _to school? A school, mind you, that they had all _just_ graduated from. It could almost be considered cruel.

Whoever had been in charge of transforming the gym into a party atmosphere certainly hadn't put much effort in. The lights had to be kept on so everyone could see each other and find their "buddy," meaning the only thing creating any sort of ambiance was the plethora of tacky colored balloons and some cheap streamers. Magnificent. What a party.

So here was the deal with this whole mentor mixer thing: Future seniors and future freshmen gathered in the middle school gym, all wearing stupid nametags that the students had to personally decorate. The seniors all had a name and a picture of their mentee, so they knew who to look for in the crowd. The future freshmen, however, only had the name to go off of and would just sort of stand awkwardly until their new senior buddy found them. Then, after an hour or so long reception in the gym, all of the students, fourteen and seventeen year olds alike, left the middle school and made a ceremonial six block walk to the high school the former eighth graders would all be attending come fall, and the celebration would continue.

Not exactly Nico's idea of fun. He hated being surrounded by so many people. He especially hated the way they would casually brush against him, or step on his foot. Every unintentional elbow jab made him jump. Every wild gesture made him flinch.

Crowds. Nico hated crowds.

Good thing he lived in New York, right?

Alabaster had already found his buddy, and whaddya know, she really was a cheerleader after all. Nico knew what his friend would be dreaming about when he went to sleep later.

Nico figured he could be like the other kids awkwardly standing around him and pull out his phone—maybe it would make him seem less lame—but realized that the only way that would possibly make him look less alone was if he actually had someone _to _text. He settled for sipping nervously on some fruit punch instead.

"Are you my guy?" A smooth, friendly voice asked. Nico looked up from his cup and found that he had company. The owner of the voice was a tall, blond male with some of the lightest blue eyes Nico had ever seen and a bright, charming smile.

"Wh—what?" Nico stuttered, still caught up in the newcomer's eyes. His face felt hot, which meant that Nico was probably blushing like an idiot. Naturally.

"Are you Nico? Because if not, I'm about to feel really stupid."

"I'm Nico," Nico replied immediately. "Who wants to know?"

"Oh," the blond smacked his forehead. "I should have maybe started with that, huh?" He pointed at his nametag. "I'm Luke Castellan."

_Yes you are, _Nico almost blurted.

This was bad. Bad bad bad. Awful. Terrible.

He was so good looking. Luke made being attractive seem like the most casual thing in the world. He wore a white button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up and the top buttons undone. His jeans were faded and distressed in the good way that people apparently considered stylish.

"Nico di Angelo," Nico declared without thinking. "But I guess you already figured that part out."

Wow, this was actually going worse than Nico had expected. He doubted Alabaster would react this way to Luke. Though, Nico knew in his heart that he was not like Alabaster. Pair Nico with Kelli the cheerleader and he wouldn't have been at all phased by it.

Despite Nico's obvious loser status, Luke's responding grin seemed genuine. "I took a guess," he admitted. "It helps that you were wearing the same shirt in your picture. Nice to meet you." Luke held out his hand for Nico to shake. Nico froze—whether out of a hesitance of physical contact in general or physical contact with Luke, he did not know.

He sucked in a breath and shook the blond's hand once, aware that his hand was likely clammy and gross. If it was, Luke didn't let on.

"So, high school, yeah? Are you excited about it?"

"That depends. Is it really worth the excitement?" Nico replied, trying to shake off the weird feeling stirring inside of him and at least carry on a conversation for the full two minutes it would take Luke to get bored with him.

The older boy laughed. "_That _depends. What are you into?"

"What?" The smaller boy's eyes widened. Was he asking about Nico's sexuality?

"Do you do any after school activities? Theatre, sports, student council?"

Nico relaxed slightly. He needed to get a grip on this paranoia thing. If he wasn't careful, Nico would end up giving himself away.

"No, I don't do anything like that," he admitted. Really, did Nico look like the type? With his endlessly black wardrobe and meek stature, the only club Nico looked like he belonged to was the somewhat-depressed-kids-with-barely-any-friends society.

"Ah, so you're the studious type, then," Luke surmised. Nico thought that was a polite way to put it.

"I guess you could say that," he allowed. "So, what? I'm totally screwed then?"

Luke shook his head, surprise filling his blue eyes. "No, of course not! Grades are important. I'm sure a lot of the seniors here wished they'd been more studious. Myself included," he laughed again.

Oh, right. An athlete. Luke probably could care less about the actual school part of school. Though, even as he thought it, Nico found himself doubting that statement's truth. Something about Luke seemed different to Nico. It was hard to imagine him into the typical jock stereotype. A typical jock wouldn't be laughing with Nico and smiling at him like he was legitimately interested in the conversation.

Wow, Luke was smiling at him. Just smiling at him for no apparent reason. Nico's stomach felt weird and fluttery inside.

_Cut it out, damn it! _

"Soccer keeps you busy, I guess," Nico said. The blond's eyebrows drew together, and he reached up to rub his chin, but the smile remained on his face in the form of a smirk.

"I never mentioned playing soccer. Did you mention me to one of these guys? I promise they're crazy and if they mentioned the time I accidently kneed myself in the face, don't believe them."

Nico definitely knew he was blushing. "Oh, no I didn't talk to any of these people. That's interesting though, about the knee thing. My sister just mentioned you played soccer. She's going to be a junior next year."

If Nico didn't know any better, he'd think Luke's face looked a little pink as well. "In that case, forget what I just told you. Who is your sister?"

"Her name is Bianca di Angelo, you probably don't know her."

"You're right," Luke confessed, but he _did _seem upset about the fact. "I'll have to look for her around the halls next year. Or who knows, maybe I'll meet her this summer, since you and I will be hanging out and stuff."

Had Nico misheard him? Luke actually intended to be friends with Nico? There was no way… "You um, you don't have to hang out with me if you don't want. I know that I'm weird, and I'm really not that fun to be around, so I won't tell. I know most of you guys don't take this too seriously, anyway."

It was better for him to allow Luke to back down than to be rejected by him later, right?

Only, Luke didn't seem to agree with Nico's logic. His smile turned immediately into a frown, the happy squint to his eyes disappeared. "I don't know what gave you the idea that I'm looking to back out of this, but I wouldn't be here if I didn't want to, Nico. I _do _take this seriously. And I think it's cool that you're different. Normal people are so dull. Although if you don't want to be my friend, then I guess I can't force you to hang out with me. But you could at least give me a chance, right?"

The gym was louder than ever, but as far as Nico was concerned, Luke was the only other person in the room. The look in those light eyes—so genuine—stole Nico's breath away. The sound of hundreds of voices became no more than a dull roar. The erratic beating of Nico's heart felt like thunder in his chest, so intense that he wondered if Luke was aware of it, too. Somehow, out of all the seniors Nico could have been assigned to, he'd gotten perhaps the only one of them who actually cared about getting to know him. Luke _cared. _Luke wanted to be his friend. He _actually _wanted to be his friend.

Nico had never, not once, considered this outcome. And it nearly rendered him speechless.

"I—," his mouth felt stuffed with cotton. "I think I'd like to try being friends," he mumbled.

This time, when Luke smiled, Nico smiled back at him.

…

"You're home late," Nico's father greeted gruffly as Nico came through the door just after ten o'clock.

"Tonight was the party to celebrate the end of eighth grade, where we met our mentors," Nico explained, not in the mood to deal with his father after the good night he'd had.

"I don't remember you asking me. Did you ask me, Nicky?"

Nico averted his eyes. Whenever Hades mockingly used Bianca's childhood nickname for him, Nico knew to be wary. Normally it was a sign that his father was about to blow up.

"Mom knew where I was, she was okay with it," he muttered, turning his head away. Nico's father appeared seemingly out of thin air, digging his fingers tightly into Nico's jaw and eliciting a hiss of pain from the teenager.

"Fucking look at me when I'm talking to you." Hades shoved Nico back roughly, practically throwing him against the entryway wall. Nico's head slammed against a picture frame and he and the frame went tumbling to the floor. A second heartbeat formed inside Nico's skull in the area where his head had met the wall.

Nico hoped that Bianca had been sensible enough to lock herself in her room tonight. He couldn't stand the thought of their father doing anything like this to her.

"Sorry, can I go to my room now, sir?"

"Go, get out of my sight." Hades knocked Nico once with his foot and Nico scrambled up to his own feet, ignoring the awful pounding in his head. Without a word he scurried out of the entryway and across the apartment to the hallway where his and Bianca's bedrooms were located.

He shut the door tightly behind him, clicking the lock into place. Sure, his father would be angry if he found out his son had locked the door, but Nico would deal with that later. He slid down to the ground, his back to the door, and sucked in a deep breath.

To think, Nico had been having such a good night…

As if on some magical cue, his phone vibrated in his pocket. Normally the only person who texted him after nine o'clock was Bianca, but upon opening his phone, Nico found that this was not the case tonight.

_**Hey, Nico. It was great to meet you tonight, what do you say Sunday we go for lunch or something? Weather is supposed to be nice. Do you like Central Park? –Luke**_

It took Nico almost a minute to realize he was smiling. Not only had Luke texted him less than an hour after last seeing him, but he already wanted to make plans to meet again. The day after tomorrow, no less. It didn't even matter that Nico wasn't a fan of outdoors, he would happily go along with what Luke wanted.

**Sunday sounds great. –Nico**

_**Awesome! What if we meet at Bethesda Fountain at one? I'll bring food :) –Luke**_

A Sunday picnic with a very attractive seventeen year old guy… Nico couldn't tell if God was rewarding him or laughing right in his face.

**I'll bring myself. See you then. –Nico**

_**Can't wait! –Luke**_

Nico grinned idiotically down at the screen for thirty or so seconds after reading the text, just trying to wrap his minds around it all. The big thing that Nico had been dreading for weeks actually had the potential to turn into the best thing that had happened to him in weeks.

Sure, his head still throbbed painfully and his father would undoubtedly still be an asshole when Nico woke up in the morning, but those things didn't get Nico down.

Nico prepared for bed almost cheerily. He'd made a new friend today. Nico hadn't made a friend since Alabaster and that was… God, years ago. Even then, the friendship had been more or less thrust upon them by their fathers, who worked for the same company. Alabaster was cool and all, and Nico was certainly grateful to have one friend in his school, but Luke already felt different. In his friendship with Alabaster, Nico always felt like more of a sidekick—Alabaster's loyal follower, ready to agree with him on anything at any time.

But Luke genuinely valued Nico's opinion. Even with their three and a half year age gap, Luke treated Nico like an equal, not a pupil. A friend, not a project.

Nico decided that maybe the whole senior buddy program wasn't so bad after all.

In fact, it might even lead to the best summer of Nico's life.

…

"Divertiti oggi!" Nico's mother called from the kitchen late Sunday morning as Nico headed for the door.

"I'll be home later, Mom. Love you."

"Mi scusi?" The woman chided.

"I mean, ti amo, mamma," Nico corrected, pulling open the front door.

"Grazie," his mother said, apparently appeased. The door closed between them and Nico walked down the hall with almost a skip in his step. Not so much because he was going to see Luke—Nico was inexplicably nervous about that part—but because he had an excuse to be out of the apartment. A whole glorious afternoon free of Nico's father.

The sun was hot, being June and all, but Nico didn't mind much. Even the heat was preferable to an afternoon in his apartment. Although, he would probably suggest that he and Luke meet at an indoor location next time.

His heart thumped rapidly at the thought of seeing Luke multiple times. The older boy was nice, after all. That was why the idea excited Nico. That had to be why. Luke's charming smile had absolutely nothing to do with it… he hoped.

The subway was significantly cooler, allowing Nico some reprieve from the summer sun, but that wasn't the only thing that Nico liked about the subway. He felt calmer down there, in the dark and beneath the earth. Alabaster had always thought Nico was a freak for feeling this way. After all, most people saw underground as closed off, unknown, cramped. But for Nico, the underground provided a sort of solace. He'd tried to explain it numerous times, but had never found the words.

In third grade, a kid named Dylan had found a word for it, and unfortunately it had stuck around for years. _Freak._

In the halls, at lunch, during recess. _Freak freak freak._

It took until sixth grade for Nico to realize they were right. He _was_ a freak.

And it wasn't until two days ago that Nico decided that maybe it wasn't such a bad thing.

…

"Hey!" Luke greeted, a wide grin taking over his entire face. "You came!"

Nico examined his shoes. "Well, I said I would, didn't I?" Nico really needed to work on his communication skills.

"Yeah, you did," he held up a picnic basket and blanket. "Let's go find some grass!"

They wound up in a relatively empty patch of lawn, under the shade of a tree. Luke laid down the blanket and they sat. As Luke opened the basket, Nico mused to himself how this afternoon picnic felt a lot like a date.

It wasn't a date though. It was a mentor eating lunch with his mentee. Two friends hanging out. That was all.

That was all.

"Confession time, I did not actually make any of this food," Luke said, holding up a chicken wrap. "I bought all of this stuff from the store. I can't even boil water without fucking up."

The admission comforted Nico somewhat. Even cool senior athletes weren't perfect.

"That's fine, I'll try not to hold your lack of cooking skills against you," Nico joked, accepting a wrap and an apple from the blond. Unable to think of anything to say, Nico wasted no time digging into his lunch. He was counting on Luke to lead any conversation. If Nico tried, he's probably start spouting out things that would make Luke run for the hills. _Did you ever play Mythomagic when you were younger? Have you ever felt funny while looking at another boy? _

"So, what is there to know about Nico di Angelo?" Luke prompted after a minute of awkward silence.

This was the kind of question Nico hated. All there really was to know about Nico were the things he couldn't talk about. And the few things he could share were hardly spectacular. "Not a lot," he admitted. "My family is very Italian. I still have relatives in Italy."

"Man, that is awesome! I'm pretty sure the Castellan family has been in America since before the Civil War." Another silence saturated the air. "And that's officially _all _there is to know about you?"

Nico hoped his pink cheeks could be blamed on the sun. "I like mythology I guess, and… books."

"That's cool," Luke said. "You're a really smart kid."

Nico thought of all the times his father had called him stupid. "I guess so," he shrugged. "School is really all I have going on. I don't play a sport like you. What's that like?" Keeping the conversation geared toward Luke seemed like a good idea.

Luke sipped a vitamin water. "I love playing soccer, I've played since I was a kid. As far as the team though, I'm indifferent. A lot of the guys are cool enough, but a few of them can't get over the fact that I'm bi. Like surely I want to get into _all _of their shorts."

Nico choked on a bite of chicken. "What?" He'd said it so casually that Nico thought he must have misheard him.

"Oh, I'm bisexual. I like guys. And girls."

Nico lowered his food onto his lap and just stared at the blond. How could he admit it so easily and openly? Not just to Nico, but to everyone. His team knew about it, did the entire school? How did people treat him because of it?

"I think I'm gay," Nico blurted suddenly, surprising even himself. He'd barely dared to think it, let alone say such a thing out loud. But now that he had, he knew that it was true. "Actually, I'm pretty sure I am."

Blue eyes met Nico's dark ones. "I know," Luke admitted, keeping his eyes steady on Nico. "Or at least, I guessed on Friday night."

Despite the heat, Nico shivered. "I've never actually, um, said that before. Is it that obvious?" More importantly, did Nico's father know?

"I wouldn't go that far. I'm sure the straight people haven't figured it out yet," Luke reassured with a kind smile. "So I'm the only one who knows this?"

Nico nodded, still in shock that this conversation was even happening. "I—I may be straight."

"When you look at girls, do you ever think about kissing any of them?"

"Well, no, but…" A lump had begun forming in his throat. "I've never kissed a girl. I might like—" He didn't bother finishing. His shoulders slumped.

Suddenly there was a hand resting on Nico's shoulder. He tensed. "Hey, it's okay," Luke told him. Noticing Nico's discomfort, he took his hand back. "You shouldn't be ashamed. Have you thought about talking to your parents? Or your sister?"

Nico almost laughed. "Yeah, right. My dad would—he wouldn't take the news well."

Luke's eyebrows drew together as his head tilted slightly to the side, studying Nico curiously. For a panicked moment, Nico thought Luke would ask what he meant by that, but the older teen just stayed silent.

"Okay," he finally said. "And your sister?"

Nico would be lying if he said he hadn't thought about it. Bianca had always been the one he'd confided in, the person closer to him than anyone in the world. But every time he'd thought about talking to her, he choked up. What if Bianca thought he was a freak, too? He couldn't lose his own sister.

"Can we maybe talk about something else?" Nico asked. "I don't like talking about my family. Or any of this, really."

"Sure, Nico."

And just like that, they did.

…

As it turned out, Luke had his very own car, which he insisted on driving Nico home in. It wasn't a particularly new or luxurious car, but it w_as _a car, nonetheless. Nico couldn't imagine his parents ever getting him a car, living in the city and all.

It was kind of nice though, sitting beside Luke as he wove through the crazy Manhattan traffic. Spending more time with Luke was worth forgoing the subway. Nico had grown so used to being alone, he forgot that being around others could actually be enjoyable.

"Hopefully you won't get Mrs. Fox for English," Luke said. "We're all ninety percent sure she's a communist. And then Mr. Madden is a little crazy. He talks to the whiteboard from time to time. He teaches Algebra."

Luke kept talking like that—telling Nico about every possible teacher he could have, which ones were good, which were bad. He even told Nico exactly where to sit if he wanted to avoid being blasted by the air conditioning. Compared to the heavier conversations they'd had earlier, Nico was more than happy to discuss simpler topics.

However, one thought stayed very present in Nico's mind. Luke Castellan, bisexual. He liked boys and girls and things seemed to be fine with him. Nico thought back to their picnic. Hadn't he distinctly thought of its almost date-like quality? And then Luke confessed that he'd already guessed the truth about Nico. And he'd so openly admitted to being interested in guys…

He snuck a glance at the animated blond.

_No, no. _Nico was jumping to conclusions based on his own desires. Luke was just being nice, he was being a friend, he didn't have a thing for Nico.

Nico, on the other hand…

Nico was in trouble.

Because he was pretty sure it was against the rules to have a crush on his mentor.

…

"Here we are," Luke announced, pulling to a stop in front of Nico's building. Part of Nico was relieved, he needed time to go home and think about all that had happened. But another part of Nico—his heart—sank with disappointment. He didn't want his time with Luke to end. He wanted to talk more, get to know him more, listen to his laugh more.

"Thanks for the ride, Luke."

"Anytime," Luke replied, and Nico believed that he meant it.

"Well, I guess I better go inside now," he said, opening the car door and stepping out. "I'll see you later?"

"Yeah, I'll call you," Luke promised. "Soon. Bye Nico." He flashed one final brilliant smile as Nico shut the door and then drove off, disappearing around the corner shortly after.

Nico didn't think he had any reason to question whether or not he was straight anymore. The answer was as clear as the blue in Luke's eyes.

…

Nico didn't here from Luke on Monday.

Or Tuesday.

Or Wednesday.

He tried not to think much of it. Surely Luke had better things to do than hang out with Nico.

He didn't call Thursday.

Or Friday.

How soon was soon?

Not Saturday.

Every time his phone buzzed Nico jumped, his hopes shooting sky high. Two texts from his cousin Hazel, three from Alabaster, one from Bianca.

None from Luke.

Nico was beginning to worry. Had he done something wrong? Maybe after spending a whole afternoon together Luke had changed his mind about the friendship.

Hell, he'd figured out Nico's secret easily enough, maybe he also sensed Nico's crush. Maybe he was laughing to all of his friends about it. "Yeah, he thinks that he has a chance. What a loser."

What if he already had a boyfriend? Or a girlfriend? Nico felt like such an idiot.

By Sunday, Nico had decided not to think about it at all. So what if Luke didn't call? He was just a dumb guy anyway.

Monday dragged. Nico had started to carry his phone with him everywhere, which made Bianca raise a brow once or twice.

"Staring at it doesn't make messages come any faster, you know," she said while the two of them ate lunch. Hades was at work, which meant that the siblings felt more comfortable to roam about the apartment as they pleased. Their mother was stationed in the living room, sewing away and humming Italian lullabies to herself.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Nico muttered.

"You've been watching your phone like a hawk this last week. Is Alabaster ignoring you or something?"

"No, that's not it," Nico said, unable to meet her eyes.

"Does it have to do with your date last weekend?"

Nico tensed so quickly he nearly had a muscle spasm. "It wasn't a date!" He hissed. "And will you shut up? Mom is in the other room!" Thankfully the kitchen and living room were two separate rooms. Between her humming and the sewing machine, his mother likely hadn't heard anything.

"Fine, call it what you want," Bianca shrugged, keeping her voice low. "You sure seemed to be in a good mood afterward."

"So what? I'm in a good mood sometimes."

Bianca blinked at him. "Uh huh. So your good mood didn't have to do with the very attractive guy you went out with? And that same blond isn't the reason you've been constantly checking your phone?"

"Wh—what are you trying to say?" Nico asked. Bianca stood and brought both of their lunch plates to the dishwasher.

"How about we go talk in my room?" She suggested. Nico wordlessly followed, his stomach twisting like a wind-up kitchen timer.

When they got into the room, Nico focused on the pale green color of Bianca's walls rather than Bianca herself. With his peripheral vision, he watched as Bianca shut the bedroom door tightly.

Nico snuck a glance her way to find her staring directly at him, a mixture of sadness and understanding in her eyes. Grasping for any distraction, Nico thought once again of how badly he wished that—like Bianca—he had inherited his mother's looks and not his father's.

"You know you can tell me anything, right?" Her tone was gentle as she stepped forward. The pit in his stomach tripled in size.

Bianca knew. There was no way she didn't know. Shit.

"Bia—"

"It's okay, Nico. I'm not going to tell anyone."

Nico's slumped forward. "If Dad knew—"

"I know. I won't say anything. You're my brother, I love you."

Bianca hugged him. She'd always been Nico's exception to the touching rule. He hugged her back, swallowing a lump of tears building in his throat.

"I love you too, Bi."

"So now are you going to tell me what's going on with the phone?"

"It's just… After we hung out last Sunday, Luke said he'd call me soon. But it's been over a week. It's—it's stupid."

"He probably has a good reason."

"He's seventeen and hot, he doesn't need a reason. Besides, nothing could ever happen anyway. He's my mentor."

"You never know," she said, sitting down on the bed. "He was really eager to hang out with you before."

"Yeah, and after spending more time with me he clearly regretted it."

"I'm just saying there may be more to the story. And honestly, if he doesn't end up texting you, then forget him. There will be other guys."

Nico wondered if perhaps this whole week had been a dream. "Yeah, I guess so."

"Oh but promise me one thing. Never, under any circumstances, trick yourself into thinking you have feelings for Alabaster. He's a rat and he shoves you around all the time."

"That's not true. And besides he's—he's not my type," Nico admitted, averting his eyes.

"Oh, look at you," Bianca giggled. "My little brother has a type now. What is it? Tall blonds with pretty blue eyes?"

"Shut up," Nico mumbled, throwing a pillow at her.

"I'm your sister, it's my job to tease and support you in equal parts."

Nico rolled his eyes, but somehow, Bianca had put a smile on his face.

She always did.

…

Monday night. Nothing.

Tuesday morning. Tuesday afternoon. Nothing.

Tuesday evening.

Nico sat at the dinner table, pushing around mashed potatoes with his fork. This time when his phone vibrated in his pocket he didn't even react.

After a minute though, his curiosity got the better of them. He casually slid the phone from his pocket and held it under the table.

He dropped it almost immediately.

Hades cleared his throat. "Nico, son, you know how I feel about phones at the table." His voice was so calm it made Nico's heart stop momentarily.

"Sorry, it fell," Nico muttered, more or less diving to the ground to get the phone. His manners and fear of getting the belt were vastly overshadowed by the name that had shown up on Nico's screen.

_**Hey Nico, I'm so sorry it took me so long to contact you. Can you hang out tonight? I know it's short notice, but I'd really like to see you. Also, I miss you! –Luke**_

"After dinner, could I go hang out with a friend?" Nico asked, even though he knew it was pointless. His father kept all the members of his family on tight leashes. "Just for like an hour or so."

"What friend?" Hades questioned, "The Torringtons are in the Hamptons this week." Atlas Torrington, Alabaster's father, also happened to be one of Nico's father's oldest friends. Prior to Luke, Alabaster had been Nico's only non-relative friend and even that friendship mainly only existed because of their fathers. Not that Nico wasn't grateful but…

Still, Hades' questioned bothered Nico—and not in the expected way. Nico accepted that his friendship group was tiny, that didn't bother him. It was the way Hades had said it, the insinuation that Nico wasn't _allowed _to have other friends that irked him.

"My senior mentor," Nico said, avoiding looking in Bianca's direction.

Nico's father snorted. "Your mentor wants to spend time with you at night? Doesn't she have better—"

"He," Nico corrected. "His name is Luke. He's my friend."

The room dropped off into silence so thick Nico could almost feel it like a hand clasping around his throat. No one spoke, no one ate. Nico wondered if the whole world was holding its breath. Hades' eyes narrowed as he studied his son carefully. Then, after an unbearable minute, he picked up his fork and went back to eating. His mother hesitantly did the same. Bianca gave Nico a sympathetic smile and returned to her meal as well. Nico did not touch his food for several more minutes. The rest of dinner was void of conversation.

Then, just as Nico's father finished clearing his plate of food, he looked back to Nico. "You don't have any friends that I don't approve of," he said. And that was that. Nico said nothing in protest. What good would talking back do?

Hades raised an eyebrow at his son, almost as if he wanted Nico to argue. Like he hoped it would happen. Maybe he just felt like beating Nico, although he'd never exactly needed an excuse in the past.

Nico sighed and brought his plate to the dishwasher.

"Oh, and Nico," his father called.

"Yes, sir?"

"Clean up the kitchen, will you?"

It was not an option and they both knew it.

"Yes sir," Nico sighed. Hades left the kitchen first. Once he was gone, his mother and Bianca approached him.

"We'll help you," his mother said, a weak smile on her lips. Together, they erased the evidence of dinner in a mere five minutes. Nico retreated to his room immediately afterward, pulling out his phone as he left.

**Hey. Yeah, I can hang out. Just tell me when and where. –Nico**

…

Nico loved fire escapes. What others saw as an eyesore, he saw as an opportunity. Once nine o'clock rolled around and Nico was fairly certain no one would disturb him again, he pushed open his bedroom window and slipped through it.

What his father didn't know wouldn't kill him, right? Though, it could kill Nico.

The fire escape was still fairly sturdy, despite being decades old and seldom used. The last time Nico had stood on this particular platform he'd been eleven and trying to hide from his especially violent father. For over forty minutes he had pressed himself flat against the face of the building and wished for a mysterious wind to pluck him off the fire escape and carry him away. Instead, he found himself plucked up by his father and dragged back through the window kicking and screaming.

Nico scratched his back, recalling the punishment he'd endured for that particular stunt. A handful of the scars on his back belonged to that night. And now, Nico planned to do worse than hide on the fire escape. He intended to use it.

_If I get caught, _he thought, _Father might beat me half to death._

Nico had a plan to avoid that outcome, however. He simply wouldn't get caught.

The descent down the stairs was quite simple, as long as he watched his footing. The challenge came at the bottom. The ladder that should have been able drop all the way to the ground had gotten stuck years ago, so the lowest it could make it was about eight feet off the ground. Nico climbed the ladder down anyway, dangling from it once he reached the bottom and dropping lightly to the sidewalk.

For about eight seconds, Nico felt like quite the badass. He'd just snuck out of his room on the fourth floor and made it down to the sidewalk in front of the building undetected. However, the threat of being caught kept Nico from taking too much time to pat himself on the back. He started down the sidewalk quickly, heading west.

The meeting location turned out to be an oddity for this neighborhood. Among trendy clothing stores and organic cafes sat a perfectly stereotypical twenty-four hour diner. A sign out front proudly proclaimed that Nico had arrived at the "Home of Manhattan's Best Milkshake."

Through the front window, Nico saw the back of a blond head alone at a booth in the far corner. It had to be Luke. Just the thought of seeing him face to face again made Nico's heart pound hard enough to be felt in his stomach. In the window's reflection he smoothed his hair. _You can do this, _he assured himself.

_Unless he called you here to tell you that he changed his mind about being friends._

Actually, Nico just wasn't going to think about that particular outcome. If he did, he had a feeling that his feet would never cross the diner's threshold.

A small bell dinged as Nico pushed the door and stepped into the café, deliciously cool compared to the muggy Manhattan night. Luke looked up at the sound of Nico's approaching footsteps and gave a wide smile. Nico returned the smile, but hesitantly. He still didn't understand why Luke had gone silent for a week. Maybe Nico didn't exactly have any room to be picky, but he didn't want a friend who only talked to Nico when it was convenient for him. After lunch last week, he'd actually believed they could just have an actual friendship.

"Hey, you made it!" Luke grinned. "I would have picked you up, but my grandma needed the car tonight."

"That's okay." Nico hadn't exactly wanted Luke's car showing up outside his apartment any more than necessary, but he could hardly explain that. He sat down across from Luke. "I'm used to walking. How have you been?" _Where have you been?_ Nico wanted to ask instead.

The blond chewed his lip, "Okay, I guess. Do you like milkshakes, by the way? I don't know if you saw the sign out front. The butterscotch milkshake is my favorite."

Nico had spent enough years avoiding certain topics of conversation to know when someone was trying to dodge a certain topic of conversation. Normally, he could respect that. But something about Luke, who Nico knew as being so easygoing and bright, unsettled him.

"I don't know if I've ever tried a butterscotch flavored milkshake," Nico told him, too nervous to comment on Luke's strange behavior. What if Luke really did want to break off the friendship?

A waitress came over a minute later and Luke ordered them both milkshakes, along with a plate of cheese fries, "You like cheese fries, right Nico?"

Nico nodded, despite his current lack of an appetite.

The waitress left and an uncomfortable silence settled between the two boys. Previously, Nico had been able to count on Luke to come up with something to say. Tonight there were no words. Maybe he hadn't known Luke for long, but Nico could still tell that something was seriously bothering the guy.

"Is something wrong, Luke?" Nico questioned, finally daring to speak. Luke, who had been staring at the wall, refocused his vision and turned to Nico.

"I—I was just thinking, I guess," he said. "You might have noticed that I was really silent this last week. It's not anything you did, so I hope you didn't think that."

Nico tried not to look relieved. "Oh, no, I didn't think that." The lie was so obvious that Luke smiled a little, which helped to relieve a lot of the tension.

"Still looking for reasons that I shouldn't want to be your friend, I see," he said, "Nice try, I'm not letting you off that easy."

Warmth filled Nico's entire body, making it hard to sit still. It was such a Luke thing to say.

After a few seconds though, Nico realized that Luke had successfully avoided what he'd originally set out to say. And Nico didn't intend to let him off that easy, either. "Well, are you going to tell me what's up or not?"

The waitress arrived with their milkshakes. "And the fries will be out in a minute, Sugars," she said in an out-of-place southern accent. Luke thanked her, but his eyes remained on Nico. The younger boy shifted nervously, hoping he hadn't overstepped his boundaries.

"I spent the last week in Connecticut," he admitted, as if that should clear everything up. When Nico continued to stare blankly at him, Luke continued. "Okay, I guess there are three things you should know about me. One, I lived in Connecticut with my mother until I was fourteen. Two, I live with my grandma now, my mother is still in Connecticut. Three," he paused, finally lowering his eyes, "my mother is a paranoid schizophrenic."

The heat that had buzzed through Nico's body dissipated. "Oh," he breathed.

"I, um, living with her got to be too hard. Especially since my dad was never around. I haven't visited her since moving in with my grandmother until last week. Apparently she has cancer, on top of everything." He said no more, choosing instead to drink from his milkshake.

"Hey, you haven't tried yours yet," he realized. "Try it. Milkshakes make everything better." An encouraging smile lit his face.

Nico blinked several times, shocked at the complete one-eighty Luke had made between one second and the next. What kind of creature was Luke Castellan?

When it seemed that Luke would not move or blink or speak until Nico tried the damn shake, he wrapped his lips around the straw and took a drink. He had to admit, the sign hadn't lied and neither had Luke.

"Good, huh?" The blond grinned.

"Delicious," Nico agreed. The waitress brought over the fry plate and they, too, were delicious. "Is she—your mom I mean—is she going to be okay?"

Luke shook his head. "No, I don't think so. She'll probably die soon. I mean, I should feel a lot worse… but she's been dead to me for a long time."

Nico's stomach twisted. He knew that feeling. His own father was hardly a parental figure. "Not everyone loves their parents, Luke. It's nothing to feel bad about."

"Growing up with her was a nightmare. She terrified me, always yelling about invisible gods and monsters and people out to get both of us," Luke's hand shook slightly as he grabbed a fry.

"So that's why I didn't call or text you," he continued. "I got home on Saturday night actually, but then I figured I needed to tell you about this. About my past. And it's… difficult. I don't normally talk about it."

"I know how you feel," the younger boy said. He'd sworn to himself years ago that he'd never talk about his family life with anyone, but after Luke's confession he felt the need to say something that would let Luke know that he wasn't alone. "My family has their fair share of issues. My dad won't be winning any awards for fathering any time soon."

Luke gave a sad, sympathetic smile. "Who needs fathers anyway, right? We've got cheese fries."

"And milkshakes," Nico added, holding up his glass.

"And friends," Luke continued, holding up his glass as well.

"To friends, then," Nico smiled.

"Yeah, to friends," they clinked their milkshakes together.

In typical Luke fashion, the seventeen year old had put a smile on Nico's face again. And it didn't matter if part of Nico hoped for more than just friendship, or if tap dances went on in his chest whenever Luke looked at him, because just knowing Luke—just being friends with him had already made Nico's life a little bit brighter.

For the time being, Nico felt honest happiness.

* * *

_A/N: Italian translations provided by the wonderful oh-nothing-important on tumblr, who actually lives in Italy. _

"_Buone vacanze, Amore." Happy holidays, Love (Equivalent to happy summer)_

"_Divertiti oggi!" Have fun today._

"_Mi scusi?" Excuse me._

_The rest should be pretty obvious, I think._

_Remember, Murder Suspect Ch 19 next, THEN the second half of this. Also, if you didn't see, I have started posting another story called When You Least Expect It in which Nico teaches a little girl dance class and you should all totally check it out._


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